SAHM Blues

 

Mommy Trick 409

Mommy Trick #409

So I am a stay at home mom. My sons are 3 and 1. Right now I feel like a loser.LOL

I was so full of energy and ready to take on the world when I returned to Japan in March but I find myself quickly loosing steam.

My 3 year old has been out of preschool about 3 months. He had an allergic reaction in school and I removed him from the school. The teacher and the staff knew he had allergies. It was discussed many times. This is one of the horrible things about being in a small town in Japan. Their knowledge base of things is insanely small. I don’t think they even understood what an allergy to food is. The thought that food could kill my child never crossed their minds. I was pissed off and my husband called a lawyer.

But the real story is that it is not working for us. My sons home all day with me seems like a good idea but it is going sour. My son is now bored of my tricks and I cannot manage to get anything in the house done. My one year old is napping less and the two of them are running me ragged.

I perked up and decided that life happens. Besides, I am a Stay at Home Mom. Just as I changed my attitude, City Hall calls and offers us a new school, further away, but with a higher end client base and more knowledgeable staff. It is sorta kinda like a private school. I am excited. Being that our cost of living is low we can afford to send him. I think it is like $300 a month.

So why the blues? Well I feel guilty about spending the money. I don’t work, and as a person who used to bust her hump weekly, I feel guilty as hell. I feel like why can’t I do this? Study, Clean, Take care of my kids? Then  I talked to some moms. They informed me that just because you stay home does not mean you can manage two small children, adjusting to a new country, and housework all in one shot with no breaks.

Yeah, they are right I guess. Lord knows I won’t have my feet up around here, even if both of the kids were in day care. In Japan the laundry has to be done daily. There is also outside yard work as well.

I don’t want my summer to go by without spending some quiet time with my husband or enjoying the life that we are all trying so hard at.

In addition to my personal woes, my 3 year old has begun to express his needs to socialize and make friends. The other day he said, “I wanna go to school”. Tore my heart out. He says, “mommy there are allergies at that school right?” Aye! I hope this new situation works out.

 

About Tara Kamiya

I am a personality blogger of Japanese & African American marriage and motherhood. Featured in the U.S. on Four Weddings Season 2. For product reviews, speaking engagements and appearances please contact me via email: kamiyatara@gmail.com
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